There I have it. In my face. He said he is now single. Not even waiting for the court date or papers. He has moved on. And why am I kinda....s-a-d???
What do I expect? For him to come begging me to come back? That he has CHANGED for the better? That he won't HURT me ever again? That he has suddenly realise he should RESPECT me? That he misses me (yes, he actually texted me that but it has no effect anymore. Its just lip service). Dream on.
20 years of my life. Truncated. My children separated because of financial and space constraints. I hope to have them with me when I can. I HAVE TO GET A JOB!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
No Headgear Policy
Today I went hunting for jobs, any walk-in interviews, I walked-in. I went to Isetan, a boutique, Giordano & Daiso. They all had advertised for retail positions. Having been out of the retail world for eons (my last retail experience was at Guardian Pharmacy when I was waiting for my A level results), I was taken aback when as soon as I could say "I would like to..." , they shot back with a "are you willing to take off your headgear?". Bummer.
And now I am surfing the net again, sending out resumes. It seems thejob is just there, waiting but its so out-of-my-reach. Guess have to stretch my patience. I WILL GET A JOB. With God's grace of course. All His planning. I just have to be patient :-)
And now I am surfing the net again, sending out resumes. It seems thejob is just there, waiting but its so out-of-my-reach. Guess have to stretch my patience. I WILL GET A JOB. With God's grace of course. All His planning. I just have to be patient :-)
Panic Alert!
I'm panicking.
The job that I was supposed to get, was hyped by Susan that I would get, well, I DIDN'T GET IT. Huh. I asked God to show me and he showed me. Thank you God!
So now, under the i-didn't-get-that-job-and-i-need-a-job-to-pay-for-everything act, I'm doing walk-in interviews today. Any job. As long as I get some $$.
Wish me luck!
The job that I was supposed to get, was hyped by Susan that I would get, well, I DIDN'T GET IT. Huh. I asked God to show me and he showed me. Thank you God!
So now, under the i-didn't-get-that-job-and-i-need-a-job-to-pay-for-everything act, I'm doing walk-in interviews today. Any job. As long as I get some $$.
Wish me luck!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I can't make you love me if you don't
Got that song stuck in my head. The George Michael version. Seriously I think if George had met me, he wouldnt be gay, hurhur.
He texted me to sleep over. For the little kid's sake. Is he crazy?? I can't do that! He can't do that either. We are happier apart. I can imagine his sulky face after the first few hours of honeymoon...
I cant make him love me if he dont.
I asked him to tell the kids we are divorcing but he hasn't. Obviously he is not taking me seriously. From the way he text, he is going from angry, mellow, then being extra nice and polite.
I cant make him love me if he dont.
He texted me to sleep over. For the little kid's sake. Is he crazy?? I can't do that! He can't do that either. We are happier apart. I can imagine his sulky face after the first few hours of honeymoon...
I cant make him love me if he dont.
I asked him to tell the kids we are divorcing but he hasn't. Obviously he is not taking me seriously. From the way he text, he is going from angry, mellow, then being extra nice and polite.
I cant make him love me if he dont.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Please proceed...
When a marriage breaks down, we adults cope with new lives. Hey, even eager to start anew when the last few years of marriage had been a roller coaster of emotions. But I feel so guilty dragging my children through this journey with me.
My youngest is only 2 and 10 months. He has been sick, on and off. I've enrolled him in a childcare centre in anticipation of me going back to work. He has been coping well, with the adjustments of his waking up, naps and meal times at the centre. I m so proud of him! But I cant deny the fact that he misses his dad terribly. I have been sending him on visits to his dad, only to find out that his dad won't spend time with him. The other day he came home saying "daddy dont love me". It breaks my heart but I just have to help him cope, rite?
Another kid is going through O levels. Timing sucks, but is there a good time for a divorce? She seem to be coping well but only God knows what she is holding back inside.
The rest are taking one day at a time, shuttling between me and their dad's.
The bright spark today? Susan called to ask when I can start work IF she hires me! I pray if the job is good for my religion, my life on earth and herafter, pls God, let me get it. If not please give one that is.
My youngest is only 2 and 10 months. He has been sick, on and off. I've enrolled him in a childcare centre in anticipation of me going back to work. He has been coping well, with the adjustments of his waking up, naps and meal times at the centre. I m so proud of him! But I cant deny the fact that he misses his dad terribly. I have been sending him on visits to his dad, only to find out that his dad won't spend time with him. The other day he came home saying "daddy dont love me". It breaks my heart but I just have to help him cope, rite?
Another kid is going through O levels. Timing sucks, but is there a good time for a divorce? She seem to be coping well but only God knows what she is holding back inside.
The rest are taking one day at a time, shuttling between me and their dad's.
The bright spark today? Susan called to ask when I can start work IF she hires me! I pray if the job is good for my religion, my life on earth and herafter, pls God, let me get it. If not please give one that is.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
No objection
I just got the confirmation today. That he has no objection to it. No counsel wanted. Though we desperately need it. He will pay for everything. He can't wait to get on with his life. That I should hurry.
I have accepted the fact that LOVE dies! It does. Once you stop loving someone, you can't re-love that person again. No matter how you try. It sorta turn to P-I-T-Y. Still a four-letter word huh?
This will be my journal. A life after marriage. That I will survive. And SHINE.
Though I am grieving for the demise of my marriage, there are bright sparks in between - like how Susan, the interviewer at a job interview, kept saying how much she likes me, how much she trusts her instinct that I would fit the job that I was interviewed for - that's just a much-needed boost for my sagging confidence (among other sagging body parts, heh). I m still on the market! I am still relevant! I am still wanted & needed!
I thank God for giving me a NEW DAY everyday.
I have accepted the fact that LOVE dies! It does. Once you stop loving someone, you can't re-love that person again. No matter how you try. It sorta turn to P-I-T-Y. Still a four-letter word huh?
This will be my journal. A life after marriage. That I will survive. And SHINE.
Though I am grieving for the demise of my marriage, there are bright sparks in between - like how Susan, the interviewer at a job interview, kept saying how much she likes me, how much she trusts her instinct that I would fit the job that I was interviewed for - that's just a much-needed boost for my sagging confidence (among other sagging body parts, heh). I m still on the market! I am still relevant! I am still wanted & needed!
I thank God for giving me a NEW DAY everyday.
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